What a load of bollocks that game was, mate. Andrei Coubis, you're a right muppet! Making your first start for AC Milan and you balls it up like that? Unbelievable. The lad's got no hope of sticking around now, not after that shambolic display against Chelsea.
What a disgrace
Coubis scores an own goal and gets sent off all in 18 minutes? What a joke. The boy's got no clue, has he? Milan-born, but clearly doesn't have the heart for the beautiful game. He's a walking disaster on the pitch.
Red card was a no-brainer
Wrestling Joao Pedro to the ground like that, it's a straight red even in a friendly, you bellend. No two ways about it. Coubis needs to have a long hard look at himself in the mirror and sort his shit out if he ever wants a chance at redemption.
Milan are in trouble
With Malick Thiaw on his way out to Newcastle, Milan are in desperate need of solid defenders. And Coubis ain't it, mate. They've already had a shite season, finishing eighth in Serie A. Allegri's got his work cut out for him if he wants to bring back some glory days to San Siro.
Hojlund might be the answer
Maybe Rasmus Hojlund can help turn things around if he joins from Man United. The Danish striker's got potential, but he's gonna have to work his arse off to make up for the rest of the team's shortcomings. But with United signing Sesko for a hefty £73m, Hojlund knows he's got no chance of regular playing time at Old Trafford. A return to Italy might do him some good.
Chelsea's looking strong
On the other hand, Chelsea's been on fire lately. Maresca's got them playing some decent footy, with 14 wins out of 16 at the end of last season. Even without Levi Colwill and Nicolas Jackson, they managed to smash Milan 4-1. Impressive stuff, lads.
So there you have it. Coubis is a walking calamity, Milan are in the shitter, and Chelsea are flying high. Just another day in the beautiful game, innit? But that's football for you – always full of surprises and disappointments. Until next time, lads.
