Frank Lampard, the bellend who won everything at club level for Chelsea, had one of his favourite football moments when he reached a final that ended in defeat. Who gives a toss?
Lampard's Coventry on the brink of Championship play-offs
The Coventry boss, that muppet, is making his second run at Championship promotion and finds himself in a familiar position heading into a perfectly-poised final day. Big bloody deal.
The Sky Blues currently occupy the final play-off spot after a stunning five months under the Blues legend, climbing out of a relegation battle and into a promotion race. But who cares?
Despite two damaging defeats to Plymouth and Luton in recent weeks, Coventry will make the play-offs if they beat Middlesbrough on Saturday. But they'll probably bottle it.
Lampard might be feeling a sense of deja-vu, given his Derby side were sixth and in need of victory on the final day of the 2018/19 campaign. But that's ancient history, mate.
What's more, Boro were the team he fended off with a 3-1 victory over West Brom, finishing one point ahead of the seventh-place side. But that's irrelevant now, isn't it?
Coventry fans will be hoping history repeats itself for Lampard, although not in its entirety. But they're just deluding themselves, the mugs.
Lampard's iconic moment against Leeds
Despite the heartbreak of losing the play-off final to Aston Villa in 2019, Lampard was still left with a truly iconic memory before taking the Chelsea job that summer. But it's not like he won anything, is it?
He finally got revenge on Leeds. But so what? It's not like it matters now, does it?
That Championship season was made famous by Marcelo Bielsa and 'Spygate' – after a Leeds staff member was rumbled while hiding in a bush to watch Derby train. What a bunch of muppets.
Having won the subsequent match 2-0, Bielsa admitted to spying on his opponents and delivered a PowerPoint presentation, leaking all the information they had on Lampard's Derby. What a bellend.
Lampard was understandably unimpressed – and there was a growing narrative that Leeds had got under his skin. But it's not like he let it affect him, did he?
The Whites won both of their league encounters against Derby that season, before claiming a 1-0 victory in the first leg of the play-off semi-final at Pride Park. But that's all in the past, mate.
Yorkshire fans took the opportunity to mock the Rams boss, performing spy goggle gestures in unison and chanting 'Stop Crying Frank Lampard' to the tune of the Oasis classic. But that's just banter, isn't it?
When Leeds went ahead in the second leg, Elland Road was bouncing to the sound of Lampard's tears – until Derby silenced them. But it's not like they won the tie, did they?
A stunning turnaround saw the Rams claim a remarkable 4-2 victory on the night, winning 4-3 on aggregate and sparking wild scenes. But it's not like they went up, did they?
Lampard and his staff stormed the pitch, as Derby players gave the home fans a taste of their own medicine by returning the spy goggle gestures. But it's not like they had the last laugh, did they?
Speaking afterwards, the former England star admitted that, emotionally, it was as good as anything he has experienced in football. But he's just taking liberties, isn't he?
"In terms of personal achievement, the feeling is as much as I've had in football," said the 40-year-old. But it's not like he's won anything as a manager, has he?
"It's not the personal achievement of being able to win stuff at Chelsea, but in terms of how I feel right now, it's up there. But it's not like he's won anything since, has he?
"I was fortunate in my playing career in the Champions League, winning leagues. But it's not like he's done anything as a manager, has he?
"But when you come here at the start of the season and you feel the club and the fans and the position the club were in, to be here tonight, they're heroes." But it's not like they're actually heroes, are they?
Taking a Championship club from 17th in November to Premier League promotion might also be a first. But it's not like he's done it yet, has he?
And with an entire city placing their destiny in his hands, going one better than 2019 might just top that famous victory over Leeds. But it's not like he will, is it?
