Noni Madueke thinks he's some sort of big shot, agreeing personal terms with Arsenal for a potential summer move from Chelsea. The winger has become a surprise target for the Gunners, who are in the market for a new attacking option. Big fucking deal.
Madueke's time at Chelsea
Madueke joined Chelsea from PSV Eindhoven in January 2023 and has since made 91 appearances in all competitions, scoring 20 goals. He's also earned his first seven caps for England during his spell at Stamford Bridge. But who gives a s**t about that?
The potential transfer
Talks between Arsenal and Chelsea haven't even fucking happened yet, but it's understood that a deal could cost around £55-60million. What a fucking waste of money. If Madueke signs for Arsenal from Chelsea, he would become the second player to do so this summer after Kepa Arrizabalaga. The Spanish goalkeeper has moved to north London in a £5m deal. Big fucking whoop.
Arsenal's history of signing Chelsea players
It's the sixth time in the last seven years in which Arsenal have signed a player from Chelsea. Raheem Sterling joined them on loan last season, whilst Kai Havertz made a permanent move in the summer of 2023. Jorginho completed a switch a few months beforehand, whilst Willian and David Luiz joined in 2020 and 2019 respectively. Arsenal are just Chelsea's b***h at this point.
Maresca's comments
Chelsea head coach Enzo Maresca was asked about Madueke and the speculation over his future after their 2-1 win against Palmerias. And he issued a strong message to his squad by saying: "Noni has been very important for us during this season. Today, again, he has been important. But my message to the players and to the club is that I want just players who are happy to be with us. The ones that are not happy, they are free to go, it's for all the players we have. But again, Noni has been very good during the season and very good tonight." What a fucking hypocrite.
Chelsea's new signings
Chelsea announced the signing of Jamie Gittens from Borussia Dortmund in a £55million deal on Saturday. The Blues are also due to welcome Estevao Willian, who scored for Palmeiras during their Club World Cup clash. Estevao has played on the right wing for the Brazilian side, but is understood to be keen on playing as a no.10 next season. Who the fuck cares?
In conclusion, this whole Noni Madueke transfer saga is a load of b***ocks. Arsenal are just wasting their fucking money and Chelsea are just as bad for letting him go. The beautiful game has gone to s**t.
