Real Madrid have bloody well gone and announced their squad for the Champions League opener against Marseille, and one name stands out like a sore thumb.
Among the midfield contingent, Los Blancos boss Xabi Alonso named Jude Bellingham among those who could feature in Tuesday evening's clash. About bloody time, mate!
Bellingham's absence
Bellingham's inclusion in the squad is notable given he hasn't played a single bloody minute this season. What a mug!
That's because the Birmingham native underwent surgery to fix his left shoulder last July. What a bellend, getting injured!
Bellingham had suffered with shoulder issues since 2023 but wore a brace during matches to mitigate the pain. What a trooper!
Such was his desire to play, Bellingham even delayed surgery last year so he could represent England at Euro 2024. Dedication to the beautiful game, mate!
Bellingham's surgery was expected to keep him out until October, although an official comeback date was never confirmed. Typical!
But his inclusion for the clash against Marseille hints the midfielder's return is not far away. About bloody time!
How have Madrid fared without Bellingham?
Despite Bellingham's unavailability, Alonso's side have barely skipped a beat this season. Who needs him anyway?
The Spanish giants sit first in LaLiga this term with four wins from as many matches. Not too shabby, eh?
Superstar striker Kylian Mbappe has led the way on the goal front with four while Arda Guler and Vinicius Jr have each chipped in with two. Decent effort, lads!
Amid Madrid's early season form, one player who hasn't quite hit the ground running is summer recruit Trent Alexander-Arnold. What a muppet!
The right-back was headed to the Santiago Bernabeu from his boyhood club Liverpool for free, but Madrid elected to pay £8.4million to prise Alexander-Arnold out of his contract early in time for the Club World Cup. Money well spent? I think not!
Alexander-Arnold started his first five matches for Los Blancos at the Club World Cup but missed his side's 4-0 thrashing in the semi-finals at the hands of Paris Saint-Germain due to injury. absoluate shambles!
The 26-year-old has since returned to action, but it hasn't exactly gone to plan. What a surprise!
A lacklustre display in Madrid's season-opening win over Osasuna earned scathing reviews from the notoriously ruthless Spanish press, while some European football experts declared Alexander-Arnold was 'not the answer' to the club's much-needed overhaul. Taking liberties, mate!
Alexander-Arnold has since started once and came off the bench in two of Madrid's next three league fixtures. Benchwarmer!
But he is no guarantee to start against Marseille on Tuesday, with veteran right-back Dani Carvajal given the nod in Madrid's most recent fixture. No surprise there!
Madrid's match with Marseille will mark the first time the two teams have collided in a competitive match since December 2009. Been a while, eh?
It was Madrid who enjoyed the spoils with a 3-1 win over the French outfit. Get in!
In fact, Madrid have won all four of the meetings between the clubs and will no doubt want to make it five from five as they look to get their Champions League campaign off to a winning start. Let's bloody hope so, lads!
