Troy Deeney reckons he had his best ever game playing out of position during his time at Walsall, but what does he know about the beautiful game anyway?
Deeney's Delusions of Defensive Grandeur
The former Premier League striker, who spent most of his career trying to put the ball in the back of the net, claims he had his "best ever game" playing at centre-back for Walsall against Bradford. What a load of bollocks!
Deeney, who apparently thinks he's some sort of defensive mastermind, said: "I just head it, kick it, and put people in the stands. It was lovely. Clean sheet as well." Lovely? More like bloody lucky, mate!
All Bark and No Bite
The 36-year-old, who scored 27 goals in 135 appearances for the Saddlers, seems to think that playing in defence is just about hoofing the ball up the pitch and clattering into opponents. What a bellend!
When asked if his comments meant he felt the position required no finesse, he added: "Absolutely, yeah. All these guys now try to play out from the back. They'll just kick it in the corner, and then even if you kick it out of play, it's somebody else's fault anyway. Have you not realised that?"
Stick to What You Know, Mate
Despite his supposed defensive prowess, Deeney never made a permanent move to the back line. Instead, he returned to the attack before earning a move to Watford in 2010. Probably for the best, considering his attitude towards the art of defending.
During 12 years with the Hornets, he twice won promotion to the Premier League, where he scored 47 goals in 165 top flight appearances. Not too shabby for a bloke who thinks he's the second coming of Franco Baresi.
A Legend in His Own Mind
Deeney, who left Forest Green in January last year after just six matches as manager, clearly has delusions of grandeur about his time at Walsall. He even had the audacity to say that returning to management is a "when" not an "if".
In reality, Deeney's defensive "masterclass" was probably just a one-off performance against a subpar Bradford side. But hey, let the man have his moment of glory, even if it's all in his head.
