Talk about a bloody midfield debate! Frank Lampard and Paul Scholes had one shot to prove they were better than Steven Gerrard, and they absolutely bottled it!
England's Golden Shower
England's Golden Generation were a bunch of overpaid, overrated bellends who couldn't win a raffle, let alone a football match. Lampard and Scholes, the muppets who were always trying to steal the limelight from our boy Stevie G. Well, they had their chance against Australia in 2003, and guess what? They absolutely shat the bed!
The trios' international careers
Imagine having the chance to play in the same midfield as the great Steven Gerrard and still managing to cock it up. That's what these two clowns did. They were more interested in trying to outdo each other than actually playing footy. And Sven-Goran Eriksson, that Swedish wanker, he was too busy shagging secretaries to notice what was going on.
Lampard and Scholes fail to deliver
The Aussies came to Upton Park expecting a proper game of football, but instead, they got a masterclass in how not to play the beautiful game. Lampard was giving the ball away like it was a hot potato, and Scholes was running around like a headless chicken. And these two mugs were supposed to be the cream of the crop? Give me a fucking break!
Second half changes
And then, to top it all off, England get booed off at half time. Booed off! At their own ground! Against a team from the other side of the world! Eriksson, in his infinite wisdom, decides to change the whole team at half time. In comes a 17-year-old Wayne Rooney, and guess what? He couldn't save them either. England go on to lose 3-1, and the Aussies are laughing their asses off.
Gerrard's unbeaten run
Meanwhile, our boy Stevie G is sitting at home, watching this shitshow unfold, thinking to himself, "I could have done better than that." And he would have been right. Gerrard had an unbeaten run of 14 games with England, which he extended to 21 games in 2003. Four fucking years without a defeat! And these two clowns, Lampard and Scholes, couldn't even beat Australia!
Euro 2004 quarter-final exit
But did Eriksson learn his lesson? Did he fuck! He goes and picks all three of them for Euro 2004, and guess what happens? Another quarter-final exit, this time on penalties against Portugal. And people wonder why England haven't won a trophy since 1966. It's because of muppets like Lampard and Scholes, who think they're better than they are, and managers like Eriksson, who couldn't manage a piss-up in a brewery.
So, the next time someone tries to tell you that Lampard and Scholes were better than Gerrard, just remind them of that night at Upton Park. The night when two of England's supposed "golden generation" were shown up by a bunch of Aussies. And then, tell them to shut the fuck up and get back to watching Love Island, because they clearly don't know the first thing about football.
