Right, listen up you muppets, it looks like that bellend Nkunku is finally gonna do one from Chelsea this summer, and about bloody time too! The lad's been absolutely wank since he signed for the Blues, so it's no surprise that he's looking to bugger off elsewhere.
Nkunku wants out of Chelsea
Apparently, the French twat fancies a move back to Germany with Bayern Munich, but he's also open to staying in the Premier League. Well, good luck with that one, mate! I mean, who in their right mind would want to sign a player who's scored a pathetic three goals in the league all season?
Bayern Munich interested, but put off by price tag
Bayern were sniffing around Nkunku in January, but they got put off when Chelsea demanded over £50 million for him. I bet they were laughing their arses off when they heard that price! I wouldn't pay 50 quid for him, let alone 50 million!
Tottenham make shock enquiry
Now, get this - even Spurs have been asking about Nkunku, like they haven't got enough problems already! I can just imagine him and Harry Kane up front together, falling over each other and missing open goals. What a joke!
Nkunku's underwhelming season at Chelsea
The bloke started just nine league games all season, and he didn't even get off the bench in the Conference League final. And to top it all off, when Maresca finally decided to make a sub in the 88th minute, he brought on some Spanish kid instead of Nkunku. How embarrassing is that?
Nkunku's injury woes and lack of impact
Chelsea thought they were getting a bargain when they signed Nkunku for £53 million from Leipzig, but he's been a massive flop. He got injured in pre-season, had to have surgery, and then spent most of the 2023/24 season sat on his arse doing nothing.
Maresca's comments on Nkunku's role
Maresca said he "absolutely" wanted to keep Nkunku, but then basically admitted he had no idea how to fit him into the team. He was like, "If you play with Cole, Joao, Christo, Noni - who is defending?" Well, not Nkunku, that's for sure! The bloke couldn't defend a sandcastle from the tide, let alone a football goal.
So there you have it - Nkunku is on his way out of Chelsea, and I for one won't be shedding any tears. He's been a massive disappointment, and I reckon he'll be just as crap wherever he ends up next. But hey, that's football for you - one minute you're the next big thing, the next you're a £53 million flop. What a mug!
