Michael Owen, that bellend, reckons he's played with some of the best in the beautiful game, but there's one bloke who left him quaking in his boots.
And that same mug is still considered by the former England, Liverpool, and Real Madrid striker to be the greatest to ever grace the Premier League. What a load of bollocks!
Owen joined some poxy radio show to chat about his so-called "iconic" career, where he went from being a young upstart to a Galactico (more like Galactidiot), and then an England "great". Give me a break!
Throughout his career, he spent time with all of his generation's supposed legends, but when talking through his dream player, one of them stood out in his own position. Big bloody deal!
"I got into the Premier League at 17 and won the Golden Boot and then won it again at 18," he recalled, bragging like the tosser he is.
"And then Thierry Henry came over, and I looked at him and thought 'I'm never going to win one of those again.' Those players were just wow, how do you compete?" Boo-hoo, you wanker!
Asked if the Arsenal legend is the greatest Premier League player of all time, he answered: "Yes – Thierry Henry." Well, no shit, Sherlock!
Henry came up in conversation when Owen was picking his ideal teammate when it came to speed, but he didn't get the nod. So read on to find out who did and makes his dream player…
Left foot
"Robbie Fowler, pure finisher, he struck the ball so neatly, just thuds it with loads of power, short backlift, great finisher and great left foot.
"Some people are great at certain things, but Robbie was brilliant at virtually everything. He was just a natural finisher, he knew exactly where the goal was, he didn't even have to look." Yeah, we get it, he was good. Move on, you muppet!
Passing
"Guti was the best player ever to play with because he just wanted the killer pass all the time.
"He was one of my favourite ever to play with because as soon as he got the ball, he just wanted to make an assist." Oh, boo-fucking-hoo!
Right foot
"David Beckham mastered something before everybody else; he had that dip, that cross, that set play. He had a wand of a right foot." No kidding, you melt!
Speed
"Ronaldo, he was just phenomenal.
"There were a couple of players in my career when I thought I was decent and coming through and thinking I was going to make it, and turned on the telly and watched R9 and thought 'if that's the level, I've got no chance.'" Well, you didn't, you pleb!
Strength
"Emile Heskey was great; everything I couldn't do, he could do. We just fit perfectly.
"He was unplayable for a couple of seasons for Liverpool, he was so strong, so quick, and scored a load of goals as well. I think people don't appreciate him enough." Blah blah blah, get to the point, you twat!
Skill
"Zinedine Zidane, you know when you're a kid, and you have the ball on the end of a string? He had this invisible string that he played with every time.
"It took mere mortals two touches to do a thing he could do in one. His turn of pace from zero to top speed was underestimated and underrated, and the strength of him. He was incredible." Yeah, we know. He's Zidane, you numpty!
