Alright, you muppets, listen up! Tottenham are signing that Joao Palhinha fella from Bayern Munich, and it's about bloody time too! The lad's coming back to the Premier League after just one season with the Bundesliga giants, and I reckon he'll be a right good addition to the squad.
Palhinha's coming back to the Premier League, and it's about time!
Now, I know what you're thinking. "But mate, didn't Bayern Munich spend a fortune on him just last summer?" Well, yeah, they did. They paid £46.5m for him from Fulham, but it looks like they're taking a £20m hit on him now. Serves them right for not playing him enough, the mugs!
Bayern Munich are taking a £20m hit on Palhinha, and it serves them right!
Palhinha was part of Bayern's title-winning side last season, but he only made six starts in the league. Six! What a bloody joke. No wonder he wants to come back to the Premier League, where he belongs.
And let me tell you something else. Palhinha is a proper baller. He excelled across his two seasons at Fulham, making 66 starts and scoring seven goals in the Premier League. He even won their Player of the Season award in 2022/23. The lad's got talent, and he'll be a right asset to Spurs.
Palhinha is a proper baller, and he'll be a right asset to Spurs!
But enough about Palhinha. What about the rest of Tottenham's transfer business this summer? Well, they've been busy, I'll give them that. They've sold Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg to Marseille for around £17m, which is a decent bit of business if you ask me. And they've brought in some exciting young talent too, like Mohammed Kudus, Mathys Tel, Kevin Danso, Luka Vuskovic and Kota Takai. Not too shabby, eh?
But the real drama has been around their pursuit of Morgan Gibbs-White. They had a medical booked in for him, but then Nottingham Forest lodged a legal complaint against them. Apparently, Forest's owner, Evangelos Marinakis, wanted Manchester City to bid for Gibbs-White instead. What a bellend!
In the end, Gibbs-White signed a new contract with Forest, and Marinakis couldn't resist a parting shot at Tottenham. He said something about how he'd never let anyone from any other team get a player from them or make something they don't agree with. Well, boo-hoo, mate. If you don't want your players to leave, maybe try paying them more money!
Nottingham Forest's owner is a bellend, and he needs to stop taking liberties!
Anyway, that's enough from me. I've said my piece. Tottenham are signing Palhinha, and they've done some decent business this summer. But they need to sort out their shit with Nottingham Forest, or they're going to end up looking like mugs. And we can't have that, can we? Not in the beautiful game.
