Alright, you muppets, listen up! It looks like those Tottenham wankers are making a move for that Crystal Palace attacker, Eberechi Eze. Footy is life, and this transfer window is shaping up to be a right shitshow.
Eze to Tottenham? What a load of bollocks!
Apparently, those Spurs bellends see Eze as their new No. 10. They're hoping to move quick and slap in a bid before those Arsenal twats get wind of it. Eze's camp has told Spurs that terms won't be a problem, and the lad is keen on the move. He wants to play in the Champions League and stay in London. Well, good for fucking him!
Arsenal are also sniffing around Eze, but they're hesitating because they want to give some young twat called Ethan Nwaneri more minutes. They might go for another left-winger if Trossard or Martinelli piss off. But it looks like Spurs are the front-runners for Eze.
How much will that mug cost?
Eze's got a £68 million release clause, but those cheeky Spurs bastards reckon he's only worth about £55 million, the same as what they paid for that Kudus bloke. Palace might tell them to fuck off if they don't trigger the clause, but Spurs are still optimistic they can get a deal done.
Where will Eze end up?
Right now, it's a toss-up between Arsenal and Spurs for Eze's signature. The lad could also stay at Palace if no one coughs up the cash. But if he does move, it'll be a game-changer for whoever signs him.
That ex-Arsenal twat Ray Parlour thinks Eze would be the "icing on the cake" for the Gunners. But with Arsenal dithering, Spurs might just swoop in and nick him. And with Maddison crocked and that Gibbs-White deal falling through, Spurs could really use a player like Eze.
Either way, this transfer saga is giving me a right fucking headache. The beautiful game, my arse! It's all about the money these days. But I'll be watching closely to see where Eze ends up. FOOTBALL IS LIFE, mate!
