Danny Dyer, that mug who finks he's a proper hardman, has finally given his blessing for West Ham's Jarrod Bowen to piss off to two clubs if he fancies a new challenge. About bloody time, mate.
Bowen's a fackin' legend
The lad's scored 68 goals and provided 43 assists in 227 games for the Hammers. Not too shabby, if I say so myself. And let's not forget, it was Bowen who scored the winner in the 2023 Europa Conference League final against Fiorentina. Proper legend, that one.
Dyer's a protective father-in-law
Bowen's engaged to Dani Dyer, the daughter of that famous actor geezer, Danny. They even have twins together. Ain't that sweet? So, of course, Dyer's got a vested interest in keeping Bowen at the London Stadium. When asked about the possibility of Bowen moving to Arsenal, Dyer scoffed, "He's never going to do that, why would he? What's in it for him?"
But when asked about Real Madrid, Dyer changed his tune, saying, "He's got to go then, hasn't he? Real Madrid? Yeah, for sure." Well, ain't that convenient?
Chelsea's a no-go, but City's alright
When asked about Bowen potentially moving to Chelsea, Dyer snapped, "Why would he go there?" But when it came to Manchester City, Dyer begrudgingly stated, "Listen, it's his career. City? I wouldn't mind that, I'd suffer that." Blimey, make up your mind, mate!
Bowen's a humble lad
Dyer loves to bang on about how humble Bowen is, saying, "It's how humble he is. He doesn't watch Match Of The Day." Apparently, they rarely talk about football, and Dyer appreciates that there's "nothing stereotypically footballer about him." Ain't that sweet?
West Ham's season ain't going too well
It's been a frustrating season for West Ham, who are currently sitting in 15th place in the Premier League. Bowen's scored eight goals and provided four assists for the Hammers in all competitions, but they'll need more than that to climb up the table in the coming weeks. Good luck with that, lads!
