You muppets, listen up! Arsenal ain't got no chance in the Champions League, no matter how easy their first knockout match was. They're a bunch of overpaid bellends who couldn't win a game of footy against my nan!
Arsenal's 'easy' win means fuck all in the grand scheme of things - they'll be knocked out faster than a pint on a Friday night!
The beautiful game is wasted on these mugs. They've got no hope of winning UEFA's top comp, not with that useless manager Mikel Arteta at the helm. He couldn't manage his way out of a paper bag!
The Gunners are cursed in the Champions League, and it's all their own fault
Arsenal hold the English record for most successive appearances in the Champions League, but have they ever won it? Have they fuck! They're a joke, a laughing stock, and they'll never win it.
Last year, they finally ended their last-16 curse, but then they bottled it in the quarter-finals. Typical Arsenal, always choking when it matters most.
This season, they beat PSV Eindhoven 7-1 away, but who cares? PSV are a bunch of muppets anyway. Arsenal won't have such an easy ride in the quarter-finals, not against proper teams like Real Madrid or Atletico.
Arsenal's potential quarter-final opponents will crush their dreams
If Arsenal face Real Madrid or Atletico in the quarter-finals, they're fucked. End of story. Real have won the Champions League 15 bloody times, and Atletico are no pushovers either.
The Gunners have barely played either of these teams in their history. They met Real in 2005/06 and Atletico in 2018, but both times they bottled it. They're a bunch of useless mugs who can't handle the pressure of the big games.
Henry's goal against Real in 2006? A fluke. Their Europa League semi-final against Atletico in 2018? A disaster. Arsenal are cursed, and they'll never win the Champions League.
So, all you Arsenal fans out there, don't get your hopes up. Your team is going to crash and burn in the quarter-finals, and it'll be hilarious to watch. FOOTBALL IS LIFE, but Arsenal are a joke!
