What a load of bollocks! Myles Lewis-Skelly and Dan Burn in the England squad? Are you having a laugh, mate? Thomas Tuchel must be off his rocker if he thinks these two muppets are good enough for the beautiful game at international level.
Lewis-Skelly and Burn: A Joke of a Call-Up
Let's start with that little bellend Lewis-Skelly. Sure, he's played for the Gunners and scored a goal against Man City. Big bloody deal! The lad's only 18 and still wet behind the ears. What makes him think he's got what it takes to play for England? He's probably just another overhyped product of the Arsenal academy who'll fade into obscurity in a couple of years.
And then there's Dan Burn. Don't even get me started on this mug. He's 32 and has been bouncing around clubs like a pinball. Darlington, Fulham, Brighton, and now Newcastle? Please. The fact that he's never been called up for any England youth squads should tell you everything you need to know about his "talent." He might be able to play as a centre-back or left-back, but that doesn't mean he's good at either position.
Tuchel's Terrible Choices
I don't know what Tuchel's thinking, selecting these two clowns for his first England squad. Maybe he's trying to make a statement or something, but it's not a very good one. If these are the best players he can come up with, then England's chances of qualifying for the World Cup are looking pretty bleak.
And don't even get me started on the other potential call-ups, like Ethan Nwaneri and Morgan Rogers. Nwaneri might have scored eight goals this season, but that doesn't mean he's ready for the big leagues. As for Rogers, he's just another flash in the pan who'll probably disappear as quickly as he appeared.
The only player who might actually deserve a call-up is Declan Rice, but even that's debatable. And with injuries plaguing the squad, it looks like Tuchel's going to have to scrape the bottom of the barrel to fill out his roster.
England's Future: Bleak as Fuck
With Tuchel at the helm and these pathetic call-ups, England's future on the international stage is looking about as bright as a black hole. We might as well kiss our World Cup dreams goodbye, because there's no way in hell we're going to qualify with this bunch of muppets on the pitch.
But hey, at least we've got the "beautiful game" to look forward to, right? Watching these clowns trip over their own feet and miss easy goals is sure to be a real treat. I can hardly fucking wait.
So buckle up, lads, because it's going to be a bumpy ride. England's footy future is in the hands of a German manager and a bunch of overrated, overhyped players who couldn't find the net if it was right in front of them. God help us all.
