Fucking hell, what a load of bollocks! Andre Onana's missus gets robbed in Alderley Edge by some bellend who nicked her handbag and watch. What a mug!
Melanie Kamayou targeted in car park robbery
The robbery happened on March 29th in the car park of some posh Italian restaurant. Melanie, who's married to the Man United keeper, had her £62,000 Hermes Birkin handbag and Rolex watch stolen. Bloody liberty!
Liam Ross charged with robbery and drug offenses
The bloke who did it, Liam Ross from Bradford, has been charged and appeared in court on Friday. The 25-year-old has also been charged with supplying cannabis. What a muppet!
Onana's wife a businesswoman and philanthropist
Melanie Kamayou is not just a WAG, she's also a businesswoman and philanthropist who co-chairs the Andre Onana Foundation, providing free medical care for underprivileged communities in Africa. Fair play to her.
Onana's United career so far
Onana joined United from Inter Milan in 2023 and has made 92 appearances, winning the FA Cup last season. He's played every Premier League game this campaign, keeping nine clean sheets. Not bad for a keeper who's only 29.
United's season going down the shitter
United are currently 13th in the league after losing 1-0 to Nottingham Forest. They face Manchester City on Sunday, followed by games against Newcastle, Bournemouth, Chelsea and Aston Villa. They've also got the Europa League quarter-final against Lyon coming up. Good luck with that, lads!
