Listen up, you muppets! That performance from Rasmus Hojlund against Lyon was an absolute shambles. The bloke's got one goal in his last 25 games for Manchester United. One bloody goal! And he cost £72 million? What a joke!
Troy Deeney's spot on, mate. Hojlund looked lost, confused, and completely out of his depth. His job is to put the ball in the back of the net, but he can't even do that properly. If I were in charge, I'd give him the boot and bring in someone who actually knows how to play the beautiful game.
And don't even get me started on Andre Onana. The guy's got a big mouth, but he can't back it up on the pitch. Two massive errors against Lyon? Unacceptable. He needs to shut his trap and focus on doing his job right.
Hojlund's shocking stats:
Hojlund managed just two shots against Lyon, with only one on target. He completed a measly four passes in 63 minutes. Four! Even I could do better than that, and I'm not a professional footballer. The lad's got no business wearing a United shirt.
Onana's howlers:
Onana's first mistake was misjudging Thiago Almada's free-kick. He got two hands to it but couldn't keep it out. Pathetic. Then, in the 95th minute, he spilled the ball, allowing Rayan Cherki to slot home the equaliser. What an absolute bellend!
United need to sort themselves out, and fast. They've got Newcastle coming up next, and they won't stand a chance if they keep playing like this. I wouldn't be surprised if they get thrashed. And they'll deserve it, the useless muppets.
If United don't get their act together soon, they can kiss their season goodbye. They'll be lucky to finish in the top half of the table, let alone challenge for any trophies. Pathetic.
