Steve Holland, that muppet, has proved once again that being a number two doesn't mean you can hack it as the big dog in the beautiful game. What a load of bollocks his time in Japan was!
Holland's Japanese disaster
Yokohama F. Marinos, the J-League side who were dumb enough to hire him, finally gave him the boot after just four months. About bloody time, if you ask me. They're battling relegation now, thanks to this bellend.
The club said in a statement: "Yokohama F. Marinos announce today that the club have decided to part ways with Steve Holland, who was appointed manager at the beginning of the 2025 season. To fill the void, head coach Patrick Kisnorbo will serve as an interim manager for the time being."
Holland's dismal record
Holland leaves with a record of five wins, five defeats and five draws in the dugout across the league and AFC Champions League. Pathetic, isn't it? For a team that were league champions in 2022 and 2019, they're now 19th out of 20 J-League teams. What a joke!
This wanker had a reputation as one of the best coaches in the game when he was Gareth Southgate's little sidekick with England for nine years. Together they reached the finals of Euro 2020 and Euro 2024. But that counts for fuck all when you're in charge, mate.
Holland's previous jobs
Before taking up the role in Japan, Holland's last job as a number one was at Crewe Alexandra in 2008. After that, he made his name as an assistant at Chelsea. Big fucking deal. Clearly, he couldn't cut it as the main man in Japan, with four defeats and two draws in his last six games. What a mug!
Next up for Yokohama is Cristiano Ronaldo's Al Nassr in the quarter-finals of the AFC Champions League. Too bad Holland won't get to face one of the most famous teams in the region. Serves him right for being so shit!
Other Yokohama managers
Holland isn't the only Yokohama manager to have a short spell. Harry Kewell, that washed-up former Liverpool and Leeds winger, lasted just seven months last season. Ange Postecoglou, the current Tottenham Hotspur manager, coached the side from 2018 to 2021 and won the J-League in 2019. Seems like Yokohama have a thing for hiring useless twats!
