Alright, listen up you muppets! It looks like that bellend Allegri is the favourite to take over at Manchester United. What a load of bollocks!
Allegri the favourite for United job
The Italian mug has been out of work since leaving Juventus last season, but the bookies reckon he's the top choice to replace Ruben Amorim if he decides to do one. Amorim's been flapping his gums about potentially leaving Old Trafford next season if United keep playing like a bunch of muppets.
Amorim's ominous comments
United are currently sitting pretty in 16th place in the Premier League after getting spanked 2-0 at home by West Ham. Despite only being in charge since November, the Portuguese bellend seems to be getting a bit twitchy about his future.
"Everybody here has to think seriously about a lot of things," he whined after the latest defeat. "Everybody is thinking about the Europa League final. The final is not the issue. We have bigger things to think about."
Well, no shit Sherlock! Maybe you should focus on not getting battered every week before worrying about some poxy European competition!
Other contenders for the job
If Allegri does end up taking over, he better be ready for a rough ride. United have been an absolute shambles this season and it'll take more than some fancy Italian tactics to sort them out.
Other names being tossed about include Crystal Palace boss Oliver Glasner and former Tottenham and Chelsea manager Mauricio Pochettino. Good luck to any poor sod who takes on this mess!
In conclusion, United are a joke and whoever ends up in the hot seat is going to have their work cut out. But hey, that's the beautiful game for you - one minute you're on top of the world, the next you're getting rinsed by a bunch of mugs from East London. Fucking typical!
