Arsenal bottle job! Bottle jobs! Bloody hell, they've gone and thrown away the Premier League title again. Typical Gunners, always choking when it matters most. But wait, they could still make this a "historic" season. Pfft, historic for what? Being the biggest bottlers in football history?
Arsenal's final day showdown
The Gunners are heading to the south coast to face the league's whipping boys, Southampton, on the final day of the season. Big deal. They should be wrapping up the title, not playing for scraps against the worst team in the league.
A chance to break a record
If they manage to beat Southampton, which they bloody well should, they'll break a record that's stood for over a century. A 14-game winning streak on the final day. Wow, how impressive. NOT. Who cares about a meaningless record when you've choked away the title?
Liverpool's dominance
Liverpool have already won the league, with four games to spare. That's how you win a title, Arsenal. You don't bottle it when the pressure is on. You step up and get the job done. But not Arsenal. They crumble like a house of cards.
The Saints' miserable season
Southampton have been an absolute shambles this season. 12 points from 37 games. Pathetic. They're getting relegated, and rightly so. Arsenal should be beating them comfortably. But with their recent form, who knows? They might even bottle this one too.
Arsenal's bottle jobs
Arsenal had their chances this season. They took City to the final day last season, but they bottled it. They had a chance this season, but they bottled it again. Four games without a win at the end of 2024. That's not the form of champions. That's the form of bottle jobs.
So, there you have it. Arsenal could make history on the final day. But let's be real. It's a meaningless record. They should be winning the league, not celebrating a consolation prize. Typical Arsenal. Always finding a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Bottle jobs.
