Peter Crouchy boy thinks he's a bloody golfer now, does he? The former striker's been caught on video making a right mug of himself on the golf course.
Ex-England striker makes a tit of himself
Six years after hanging up his boots, the 44-year-old muppet has apparently decided to spend his time hacking away at a little white ball. Well, I suppose he's got to fill his days somehow, the clown.
Crouch's swing is a bloody joke
The lanky twat's been caught on TikTok, of all places, showing off his so-called golfing skills. He's there on the tee, driver in hand, looking like he thinks he's the dog's bollocks. But we all know the truth, don't we? He's just a washed-up footballer trying to be something he's not.
Onlookers left in tears of laughter
The video shows Crouch taking a swing, and what happens next? He bloody well tops the ball, sending it bouncing into the trees just a few yards away. The useless git. And the lads watching from the clubhouse? They're pissing themselves laughing, of course. I mean, who wouldn't be?
Crouch's frustration is palpable
The 2006 FA Cup winner, who used to score the occasional acrobatic goal back in his day, throws his arms up in the air like a petulant child. Aw, diddums. Did the big bad golf ball not go where you wanted it to? Poor you.
Social media reacts with gleeful mockery
Unsurprisingly, the video's gone viral, with Crouch even trying to make light of it on his own social media. He pathetically urged his followers not to give it any attention. Yeah, right. Like that's going to happen, you muppet.
Fans and even Piers Morgan have been quick to stick the boot in, with one person writing, "Surprisingly bad touch for a big man." Another simply stated, "It's great that you can laugh at yourself. Mind you, so is everybody else." And a third quipped, "He's big! He's red! He should try bowls instead!"
Well, Crouch, it looks like you've made a right tit of yourself yet again. Maybe stick to the football punditry, eh? Or better yet, just retire to the pub and leave the golf to those who actually know what they're doing. Twat.
