Alright, listen up you muppets! That pole vaulting geezer, Mondo Duplantis, he's only gone and broken the bloody world record again, hasn't he? And guess what motivated him this time? A night out on the lash with none other than Usain Bolt! Can you believe it?
Duplantis smashes his own record in front of home crowd
The Swedish bellend cleared 6.28m at a Diamond League meeting in Stockholm, making it the 12th time he's set a new all-time best in the men's pole vault. But this one was special, 'cause it was in his homeland. Good for him, I suppose.
Bolt's promise of a wild night out provides extra motivation
Apparently, before Duplantis stepped up to compete, Bolt promised him a proper night out if he broke the world record again. And would you Adam and Eve it, the lad only went and did it! I bet they had a right old knees-up afterwards.
Duplantis cements his place in history
With this latest achievement, Duplantis is well on his way to securing a legacy like Bolt's. He's already got two Olympic gold medals under his belt, including one from Paris 2024. But breaking the world record in Stockholm apparently "felt like the only thing missing". Well, now he's done it, so he can shut up about it.
In conclusion, Duplantis is a proper legend in the making, but let's not forget about the real GOAT, Usain Bolt. That guy's records have stood the test of time, and he's still out there motivating other athletes to push themselves to new heights. What a lad!
