Bloody non-league muppets tryin' to sign Rooney! What a joke!

Bloody non-league muppets tryin' to sign Rooney! What a joke!

Written by Raging Rob on June 27, 2025 at 7:37 PM

Wayne Rooney, the washed-up has-been, thinks he's too good for the sixth tier of English football, the arrogant prick.

Rooney's managerial career in tatters

The out-of-work Manchester United legend was approached by National League North side Macclesfield, but the jumped-up little shit turned it down, according to PA. Who does he think he is, turning down a club that actually wants him? What a joke.

Rooney's disastrous record

Rooney has been out of work since December when he was sacked as Plymouth manager with a pathetic record of five wins and 14 defeats in 25 games. The bloke couldn't manage a piss-up in a brewery.

It was his third shot at the Championship after stints at Birmingham and Derby, who, like Plymouth, were relegated after he was dismissed. The guy's a fucking jinx.

Roo considers Macclesfield approach

Despite his struggles in the second tier, the 39-year-old England icon has regularly expressed his desire to return to the dugout. Dropping down four leagues was always unlikely for the egotistical twat, but PA add that he did consider Macclesfield FC's approach which came through his agent Paul Stretford. Probably because no other club in their right mind would touch him with a barge pole.

Macclesfield's rise

The phoenix club are quickly on the rise following the liquidation of their Macclesfield Town predecessor in September 2020. They achieved instant promotion from the NWCFL Premier Division and then instantly followed it up with another jump up to the NPL Division One West.

After a freshman season in the NPL Premier Division, Robbie Savage, who was initially appointed as a board member in 2020, took over as head coach. He recorded a massive 109 points as Macclesfield secured their promotion to the sixth tier. But Rooney still thinks he's too good for them. Unbelievable.

Rooney's punditry roles

While Rooney has struggled in the dugout, he's still a fan favourite and has proved to be an insightful commentator on the game through his various punditry roles. Big fucking deal. Anyone can sit on their arse and talk about football. It's doing it that matters.

When asked about his next step, Rooney hinted it wasn't coaching. "Obviously just doing some TV work at the minute, so that's what I'm doing," he said. "I'm enjoying it. So, that's where I'll be." Probably for the best, mate. Stick to what you're good at, which clearly isn't managing.

Plymouth defend Rooney hire

Plymouth were criticised for their hire of Rooney last season after his Birmingham failure, but their CEO Andrew Parkinson defended the choice. "He was the best candidate we saw when it got down to the interviews," he said. "The biggest thing for him is that he really wanted it." Well, he certainly got what he deserved. Sacked and unemployed. What a muppet.

Raging Rob
Raging Rob
Rob is a passionate football fan who loves to share his opinions on the latest news and results. He has a short temper and is known for his rants on the beautiful game.