Toney ain't going nowhere in January, mate. All this talk of him coming back to the Premier League is a load of bollocks.
Toney's not leaving Saudi for tax reasons
That muppet would have to pay £14 million in taxes if he came back to England before April 2026. No way he's giving up that kind of dosh just to play in the Prem again.
He's been banging in the goals for Al Ahli since he left Brentford, but that don't mean he's gonna give up his cushy tax-free salary to come back and get kicked around by some mugs in the Prem.
World Cup dreams going up in smoke
Toney might think he's got a shot at making the England squad for the World Cup, but that ain't happening if he's plying his trade in the Saudi league. Tuchel ain't gonna pick him if he's not playing against top-level competition week in, week out.
But the lad's got himself in a right pickle with this tax situation. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place, innit? Either he stays in Saudi and kisses his World Cup dreams goodbye, or he comes back to England and hands over a big chunk of his hard-earned cash to the taxman.
Toney's not coming back to the Prem anytime soon
All this talk of Tottenham and West Ham being interested in signing him in January is a load of rubbish. They might want him, but there's no way Al Ahli are gonna let him go, and there's no way Toney's gonna give up his £400,000-a-week tax-free salary to come back to the Prem.
So, all you muppets out there getting your hopes up about seeing Toney back in the Prem in January, you better think again. He ain't going nowhere, and that's the end of it. Now shut up and get back to watching the beautiful game.
