Bloody hell, Red Bull Bragantino have released pictures of their new footy ground, and it looks like a soddin' call centre!
This new stadium is gonna hold 20,000 muppets who think they know the beautiful game. It's being built on the same site as their old ground, which was probably a right shithole anyway.
Fans are confused by the design of the new stadium
Those daft Brazilian Serie A fans are scratching their heads trying to figure out what the designers were thinking when they drew up plans for this box-like eyesore. It's got a raised silver roof and looks like it was built out of an IKEA flat pack. One supporter even said it looks "soulless". No shit, Sherlock!
The new stadium will have lounges, restaurants, and bars
They're trying to make it sound all fancy by saying there will be lounges, restaurants, and bars. But let's be real, it's still gonna be a soulless box where people go to watch 22 overpaid muppets kick a ball around for 90 minutes.
Bragantino's old ground, the Estadio Nabi Abi Chedid, had a capacity of 17,000. The new stadium will hold an extra 3,000 fans, which means there will be even more bellends in the stands.
The stadium will also host other events
When there isn't a footy match going on, they're planning on using the stadium for other sports and events. Good luck getting people to go to a soulless box for anything other than football.
While the stadium is being built, Bragantino are playing at the Estadio Cicero de Souza Marques, which holds 12,000 people. They've also qualified for the Copa Sudamericana next season, so they'll be playing in a continental competition in their fancy new call centre.
Red Bull own several football clubs
Bragantino are owned by Red Bull, who also own six other clubs, including RB Leipzig and New York Red Bulls. They've also got stakes in Leeds United and Paris FC. Just what we need, more corporate bellends sticking their noses into the beautiful game.
In conclusion, this new stadium looks like a soulless box that will be full of muppets watching other muppets play football. But hey, at least there will be lounges, restaurants, and bars for people to get pissed in before and after the match.
