Russell Martin won't be managing Columbus Crew in the MLS, and frankly, who gives a toss? The lad's been rejected by the American side despite being one of the final candidates. What a joke!
Martin's managerial woes continue
The 39-year-old muppet is still looking for a job after getting the boot from Rangers in October. What a surprise! Martin's time at Ibrox was an absolute shambles. He only won 5 out of 17 matches across all competitions. Embarrassing!
Rangers record books for all the wrong reasons
To top it off, Martin holds the record for being Rangers' shortest-serving permanent manager, lasting a mere 123 days. What a bellend! The bloke's got no clue how to manage a football club.
Columbus Crew's hunt for a new manager
The Crew have been searching for a new gaffer since Wilfried Nancy left for Celtic earlier this month. The Frenchman is yet to impress, losing four of his six matches, including the Scottish League Cup final. Typical!
Columbus Crew's recent successes
Despite their managerial woes, Columbus Crew have had some success this decade, winning four major trophies. They lifted the MLS Cup in 2020 and 2023, and secured the Campeones Cup and Leagues Cup in 2021 and 2024 respectively. Not too shabby, but let's be real, it's not the Premier League, is it?
A disappointing 2025 campaign
Last season was a complete disaster for Columbus. They finished seventh in the Eastern Conference and were knocked out in the first round of the MLS Cup play-offs by FC Cincinnati. Pathetic!
Looking ahead to the 2026 MLS season
Columbus will kick off their 2026 MLS campaign against Portland Timbers on February 22, followed by a trip to Sporting Kansas City. Their first home match is against Chicago Fire on March 8 at ScottsMiracle-Gro Field. Who cares though, it's not like they'll be winning any trophies anytime soon!
