Ronaldo - the fucking king of the beautiful game! What a fucking legend. He's smashed in 141 goals in the Champions League, miles ahead of any other mug. Messi? Decent player, but he's no Ronaldo.
Ronaldo's European scoring record
Ronaldo's European scoring record is fucking untouchable. 141 goals for Man United, Real Madrid and Juventus. The bloke's a fucking machine. He's scored 17 goals in a single campaign back in 2013/14. That's a record that will never be fucking beaten.
Most knockout stage goals
Not only has Ronaldo scored the most goals overall, but he's also scored the most fucking goals in the knockout stages. 67 fucking goals when it matters most. The man is a fucking big game player.
Most hat-tricks
Eight fucking hat-tricks in the Champions League. Eight! No one else even comes fucking close. Ronaldo is in a league of his own when it comes to scoring goals in Europe.
The rest of the muppets on the list don't even compare to Ronaldo. Lewandowski, Messi, Raul - all decent players in their own right, but they're not on Ronaldo's level. The man is a fucking legend and his record in the Champions League proves it.
Haaland and Mbappe might be eyeing up his record, but they've got no fucking chance of catching him. Ronaldo is the fucking king of the Champions League and he always will be. End of fucking story.
