Alright, listen up you muppets! Stevie G is finally getting the hell out of dodge at Al-Ettifaq, and about bloody time too! The bloke's been an absolute disaster over there, taking home a fat £15 million-a-year contract for doing fuck all. I mean, what kind of mug signs a contract extension after winning just six out of his first eight games? Typical Liverpool legend, thinking he's the dog's bollocks.
Gerrard's exit from Al-Ettifaq: A shit show of epic proportions
Now, I don't know what kind of "personal reasons" Gerrard's got for leaving, but if he thinks he can just swan back into the UK before April and not pay his taxes, he's got another thing coming. The taxman will be all over him like a rash, demanding 45% of his salary. Serves him right, the greedy bastard.
And don't even get me started on his assistant manager, Michael Beale. The guy's been following Gerrard around like a lost puppy, from Rangers to Aston Villa to Al-Ettifaq. It's like he's got no mind of his own. And what's he got to show for it? A couple of shit spells at QPR and Sunderland before crawling back to Gerrard. Pathetic.
Al-Ettifaq's abysmal form under Gerrard and Beale
But let's talk about Al-Ettifaq's form under Gerrard and Beale. It's been nothing short of a fucking embarrassment. They won just 19 out of 55 matches, and they're currently sitting pretty in 12th place in the Saudi Pro League. I mean, how shit do you have to be to only win two out of 14 matches across all competitions? It's a bloody joke.
And don't even get me started on the fact that Gerrard might still have a role in Saudi football development. What the hell do they think he's going to bring to the table? A masterclass in how to waste millions of pounds on overpaid, underperforming players? Give me a break.
Gerrard's managerial career: A tale of woe
This is just the latest in a long line of failures for Gerrard as a manager. He may have won the Scottish Premiership with Rangers, but let's be real - that league is a fucking joke. And then he had the audacity to think he could cut it in the Premier League with Aston Villa. How'd that work out for you, mate? Two wins out of 12 and you were given the boot faster than you can say "slippery G".
In conclusion, Gerrard's exit from Al-Ettifaq is just another example of how he's been taking liberties with the beautiful game. He may have been a decent player, but as a manager, he's been nothing but a fucking liability. The sooner he fucks off out of football for good, the better. And if he does come back to the UK, he better be ready to pay his damn taxes like the rest of us mugs.
