Oh great, just what we needed - another injury setback for that muppet Luke Shaw. As if things weren't bad enough already at Manchester United!
Luke Shaw's injury hell continues
The 29-year-old's had more injuries than I've had pints down the pub. Alright, maybe not quite that many, but you get my drift. He's always bloody crocked!
Shaw's played a grand total of 98 minutes this season across three games. Pathetic. And now he's gone and got himself injured again. Typical.
Lisandro Martinez joins the injury list
As if Shaw's injury wasn't enough, now that Argentinian bellend Lisandro Martinez has gone and knackered his knee. Again. What is it with these muppets and their knees?
Martinez was stretchered off in tears against Crystal Palace on Sunday. I'm not surprised - I'd be crying too if I was as useless as him.
Ruben Amorim's defensive crisis
With Shaw and Martinez out, and that other mug Tyrell Malacia off on loan, Ruben Amorim's got a right defensive crisis on his hands. Serves him right for being such a crap manager.
But wait, there's hope! United have splashed £29million on some Danish kid called Patrick Dorgu. He's supposed to be the next big thing, but I won't hold my breath. United have a habit of signing expensive duds.
Apparently, Dorgu could make his debut against Leicester in the FA Cup on Friday. I'll be watching, but I'm not expecting much. United are bound to cock it up as usual.
The state of Manchester United
Honestly, I don't know why I bother with this lot anymore. They're an absolute shambles from top to bottom. The owners are greedy bastards, the manager's a clueless prat, and the players are a bunch of overpaid prima donnas.
But what can you do? I'm a lifelong United fan, for my sins. I've supported them through thick and thin, and I'll keep supporting them no matter how shit they get. Even if it drives me to an early grave!
