Alright, listen up you muppets! Those daft twats at Nottingham Forest think they've got a shot at the Champions League, and now they're eyeing up that Brazilian lad Matheus Cunha from Wolves. Fucking hell, do they really think they can pull it off?
Forest's delusions of grandeur
Apparently, Forest were sniffing around Cunha back in January, but Wolves told 'em to piss off. Now, the tricky bastard's signed a new deal with a £62 million release clause. That's more than Forest's ever spent on a player before! Who do they think they are, Man City?
Nuno's got Forest flying high
Fair play to Nuno Espirito Santo though, the bloke's done a cracking job at Forest. They're sitting pretty in third place with just nine games to go. But let's be real, they've probably just been riding their luck. No way they'll keep it up.
Wolves still in the shit
Meanwhile, Wolves are still flirting with relegation. They're 17th, and just nine points away from the drop. Their next couple of games could be make or break. Cunha won't be around to help 'em out though - he's been banned for four games and fined £50k for kicking off in the FA Cup. What a bellend!
Arsenal want in on the action
Even Arsenal are supposedly interested in Cunha, but that soft twat Arteta's apparently got his knickers in a twist about the geezer's temper. Fuck me, has he even watched his own team play? Half of 'em are walking red cards!
Cunha's been on fire
To be fair though, Cunha's been on fire for Wolves this season. 13 goals and four assists in 26 games ain't too shabby. And he's got 27 in the top flight since joining from Atletico Madrid in 2023. Not bad for a stroppy git.
Wood's been the main man for Forest
Forest have had that old fart Chris Wood banging them in up front though. He's scored 18 in the league this season, playing every bloody game. Must be on the George Best diet, that one.
Espirito Santo keeping a lid on it
After their last win, Nuno was trying to play it cool, saying there's still a long way to go. Don't get too excited, mate. Your lot will probably bottle it anyway. Fucking hell, the state of modern football, eh? Money ruining everything. Back in my day, it was all about the passion and the pies. Now it's all prawn sandwiches and poxy release clauses. Fucking joke.
