Finally, some good fucking news for Dulwich Hamlet, those lucky bastards.
Those muppets at Southwark Council have officially given the green light for the redevelopment of Dulwich's Champion Hill stadium. About bloody time, mate.
What's in store for Dulwich Hamlet's new digs?
The old ground will be transformed into a shiny new 4,000-seater stadium, complete with an all-weather pitch and some proper facilities. No more sh*tting in porta-potties, lads!
The council's approval also means a fancy new astro-turf pitch will be built next to the ground. And get this - the plebs can even rent it out when there isn't a match on. How magnanimous of them.
Oh, and there'll be 219 new homes built nearby. Because who doesn't want to live next to a footy stadium, am I right?
The chairman, Clasper, is over the moon about it. "This approval is the best Christmas present we could ask for," he says. Aww, how sweet. I'm sure the fans are just thrilled.
And of course, the council is patting themselves on the back for "the most vital win of the season." Get over yourselves, you self-righteous pr*cks.
How the new stadium will help with attendance
Dulwich really needed this upgrade, seeing as they'd somehow managed to attract 70,000 people to Champion Hill last season. I don't know how they did it, but good on 'em.
But even with the new stadium, they're still turning people away at the gates. Clasper says it's causing "negativity in our community." Well, no sh*t Sherlock. Maybe if you let everyone in, you wouldn't have this problem.
But hey, at least the fans who do make it in will have a nice new stadium to watch their seventh-tier team play in. That's something, right?
