The Red Devils nearly shit the bed at Old Trafford, barely scraping a draw against Bournemouth in a thrilling 4-4 goal fest on Monday night.
Despite taking the lead three bloody times, United needed a quickfire double to avoid a record-breaking defeat. Talk about snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, or in this case, a draw.
But let's be real, United conceding four goals at home to Bournemouth is a fucking embarrassment. Ruben Amorim was staring down the barrel of an unwanted first - losing a home match when leading at half-time for the first time in Premier League history. Pathetic.
They would've been the first team to do so since Ipswich Town in May 1984. Fucking Ipswich Town! Fortunately for Amorim, the eight-goal thriller ended all square despite Bournemouth taking the lead early in the second half. Crisis averted, but still, conceding four goals at home to Bournemouth? Get your shit together, United.
United's defensive record is a fucking joke
The Red Devils have now conceded 26 goals in just 16 Premier League matches this season. 26! That's more than 1.5 goals per game. Sir Alex Ferguson once said "attacks will win you games, but defences win you titles". Well, with a defence like that, United won't be winning fuck all.
Amorim needs to sort this shit out ASAP. If United want to be a serious team, they need to tighten up at the back. You can't concede 26 goals in 16 games and expect to win trophies. It's just not fucking good enough.
Despite this, Amorim had the audacity to say "it was a fun game for everyone at home, not so fun for the managers." Fun? Conceding four goals at home is not fun, you muppet. And then he went on to say "we controlled the game and to suffer a goal like that, it should be a different result at half time." Controlled the game? Different result? Mate, you conceded four fucking goals at home to Bournemouth. Wake up and smell the coffee.
The draw leaves United sixth in the Premier League, behind Crystal Palace on goal difference. Sixth! They're two points adrift of fourth-place Chelsea in the race for Champions League qualification. If they don't sort their shit out soon, they can kiss the Champions League goodbye.
